Happy New Year from Fat Rats Ass!

Posted on January 2, 2012 by idga2010fraadmin

Predictions for 2012

Predictions for 2012

We over here at Fat Rats Ass want to wish all our friends a Happy New Year!! Here at Fat Rats Ass we have gotten busy compiling all the statistics, facts, and figures in preparation for awarding our annual honor of the Most Miserable State in America.

This prestigious award is based on five measures of the social condition as ranked by nationally known organizations: education, health, wages, unemployment, and bankruptcy. Each of the states are ranked from worst to first and then color coded red or blue based on how that state voted in the last presidential election. You don’t want to be at the top of this list. Most of all you don’t want to congressional delegation from the top 10 states influencing politics and bringing their talent for leadership to your state. Continue reading →

Posted in General Bullshit, Misery in America, Politics | Comments Off

Clash of the Republican Wife Cheaters

Posted on December 5, 2011 by Johnny

The battle of the republican wife cheaters has finally ended with Newt “Back Door Man”

Herman Can't Remember

I Don't Remeber

Gingrich beating out Herman “Masher” Cain. It started out simple enough and nobody but nobody saw this battle coming. It began when Herman “Masher” Cain was accused of having an affair and he replied that he could not remember a thing about it.

Newt "Back Door Man" Gingrich

"He's lying", said Back Door Man Gingrich.

Hearing this Newt “Back Door Man” Gingrich began a rumor that the Masher was lying. As the circle of women gathered around Masher Cain he found it increasingly difficult get a boner and this worried a lot of women.

I Only Banged One

I Only Banged One

Thinking the best thing to do was to come clean Masher admitted to having an affair with one woman. “It was only one that I banged and I was doing her a favor. Just ask her.” Satisfied that this was the end of Masher Cain, Newt “Back Door Man” Gingrich rested easy. When, lo and behold who appears on the horizon? Is that Mr. Clean I see, no it’s Mitt Romney! Mitt accused Newt of being the biggest masher in DC. Continue reading →

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Salami Swallower Michele Bachmann

Posted on September 2, 2011 by Johnny

Michele Bachmann Wins Sausage Swallowing Contest

Michele Bachmann wins the sausage swallowing contest at the Idaho State Fair.

Capping a tour de force of the Iowa Caucus Michele Bachmann outdid all competitors when she competed in and won the Salami Swallowing contest at the Iowa State Fair. A previously unknown talent of hers, Michele says she is a  ”salami swallower from way back”. Michele eagerly two fisted the dry shriveled monstrosity and made it disappear in a salami swallowing feat not previously seen at the state fair. Salami swallowing comes naturally to Michele Bachman. It’s a talent that, she says, “you either have or you don’t and I damn sure got it. For me salami swallowing is a God given gift.” Asked if this was the biggest salami she ever swallowed she replied, “no, I’ve swallowed salami much larger but that was fresh moist salami. The salami I swallowed in the contest was too dry and scratched my throat.” Continue reading →

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Pat Tillman, an American Hero

Posted on August 18, 2011 by Johnny

When Pat Tillman joined the Army he got a personal letter from Don Rumsfeld. Before Pat Tillman was killed President George Bush had plans to honor him at an event. After Pat Tillman was killed these sick little screws and their suckups thought they hit the political message jackpot by portraying Pat Tillman as a supporter of their wars. Their only problem is that Pat Tillman did not support their war or their political party. Continue reading →

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Warren Buffett mans up. Why can’t Eric Cantor?

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Johnny

Probably because Eric Cantor doesn’t give a shit about America.

Sick of being associated with rich whining punks crying poor mouth, Warren Buffett took out an ad in the New York Times and bitch slapped these pukes who for the most part are republicans. Continue reading →

Posted in Economics, Politics | Comments Off

Super Bowl Prediction: a team from a blue state will win

Posted on February 5, 2011 by Johnny

Even football tends to be better in the blue states. Take a look at the chart below. Football is a complex game with a lot of the complexity taking place Monday through Saturday. It’s a game for an intelligent individual with a developed sense of humility. Both are qualities found in abundance in blue states. Continue reading →

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Worst States for Education

Posted on January 24, 2011 by Johnny

Here we go with the final contributing measure to determining the Worst State in America…education. It just figures that if you ain’t got your shit together up in your brains then all you are gonna do is screw shit up for the rest of America and you should just keep your god damn mouth shut and stick with the winners. But then again, your probably too stupid to do that. Continue reading →

Posted in General Bullshit, Misery in America, Politics | Comments Off

Worst States for Health

Posted on January 2, 2011 by Johnny

OK, this is no joke, we’re getting right down to the nitty-gritty here, this is life or death. You’re gonna die sooner rather than later if you live here and there ain’t a christian in sight to help you. Look at the assholes we got here. Continue reading →

Posted in Healthcare, Misery in America, Politics, Uncategorized | Comments Off

A Christmas Message from Johnny Shitterowski

Posted on December 25, 2010 by Johnny

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate this day. To those who don’t celebrate this day, let the spirit of the day not be lost…the spirit of the day is the point. On the chance that someone somewhere may be having too much fun today I’m going to inject into your Christmas Day this little message right here. Continue reading →

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Glen Beck…a lying liar and his lies

Posted on December 21, 2010 by Johnny

Glen Beck attacks working Americans…again.

Posted in General Bullshit | Comments Off